Im sorry I hurt your feelings. As unlikely as this is, it might be wise to double-check. If you don't want to explain how you're feeling, then don't. So, ditch the mechanical responses and adopt the witty and fun replies to keep the conversations exciting! He has six years of experience in professional communication with clients, executives, and colleagues. I hated you the moment I met you, and I still hate you. This means that when they get super excited, it can cause their heart to beat too fast, which causes death. Mentally? 6. Virginia Woolf (author), "When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction." Shooting yourself in front of the person who asked. Required fields are marked *. How much do you charge to deliver an STD? "You know I can do this anytime.". Because apparently, you need to go outside and talk to people to date. (What To Do), Why Do I Feel like a Roommate in My Marriage? We cant always get what we want now, can we? [Read: The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company]. 56. This way, youre insulting themand they just might be dumb enough not to notice. Congrats, guys! What is the polite way for asking if someone is still alive? 5. "Still alive" is polite. To read all future answers to your comment, please bookmark this page. Maybe they had a giant project at work and lost contact with all their friends and loved ones. I had been dead for billions of years before I was born and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience. Mark Twain (author), Im not afraid to die, I just dont want to be there when it happens. Woody Allen (comedian), The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates. Dave Barry (author), Always go to other peoples funerals, otherwise they wont come to yours. Yogi Berra (baseball player), Im very pleased to be here. 3. I'm afraid I can't do that. Let me introduce you to a man who wrote a comeback so good, he instantly won a date. Elon Musk targets Bernie Sanders over tax tweet: 'I keep forgetting that you're still alive' The Twitter spat was in response to Sanders' demand that "the extremely wealthy pay their fair share." 47. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. original sound - Tyren Sams. What? No one loves superheroes. 59. Im jealous of people who dont know you. If you're going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty. Alexa's response: No, that's not true. Id rather have a doughnut on my finger than a real ring. Why dont you tell me, you seem to have a pretty good view from there. "See, I will finally make you smile.". At least my hair looks amazing. How To Answer "Why Are You Single?": 33 Ideas - Elite Daily I dont feel that great, but look! funny response to are you still alive No, keep talking. Not Bad. The best GIFs are on GIPHY. I just adore my own company. All jokes aside, death is one of the few "sure things" in life, and it's also something all of us have in common. I learned my lesson. Before you complain about anything, be thankful for your life and the things that are still going well.". This one is good. Hey, I can see straight to the back of your head when I look into your eyes! 5 Ways To Respond To Hey Stranger And Other Annoying Texts 11. Average, I think, that sounds about right. Me being single is just a conspiracy! Often, we text some people when were at rock bottom, to try and get their help, or just have someone to talk to. Acting like a prick doesnt make yours grow bigger. Once youre dead, youre made for life. Jimi Hendrix (musician), Death will be a great relief, no more interviews. Katharine Hepburn (actress), Death is a delightful hiding place for weary men. Herodotus (historian), You know youre old when the candles cost more than the cake. Bob Hope (comedian), Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them. EW Howe (author), There are more dead people than living, and their numbers are increasing. Your response should depend on the rapport you share with the sender. I have found that people in a coma find it very difficult to hold a phone, turn it on, look at their messages, think of a reply, and then type out their reply. More like, How I Met That Jerk I Quickly Forgot About. Thats because I get about as much attention as a white crayon. Dont let your mind wander. If you want me to accept you as you are, Im going to have to lie to myself about liking you. Is It A Bad Idea To Lose My Virginity To An Old Crush? Here's the good news: I've collected plenty of answer options for you to make that unbearably awkward question a little more bearable. 382 Likes, 344 Comments. 350 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic. 61. This one kills me! My guardian angel be like 2. When they play it cool, play it ice cold. To text, most of us need our thumbs. These comebacks are best for those situations where you dont just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. Id love to see things from your perspective, but its almost impossible to get my head up your ass that far. When someone insults someone, the insulted might walk out of the room, or just stop talking to the other person. 25 Witty Comebacks To Use On Terrible Pick Up Lines Still, the ghosters ghost on. Turning the question around on them without actually having to answer? I plead the fifth. Youre like Monday: no one likes you. 54. When a date's playing it hot and cold or you haven't heard from your crush in weeks, these witty ghosting responses will help you clear the air and your mind. Still Alive synonyms - 44 Words and Phrases for Still Alive 76 Best Replies and Answers to How Are You Doing? - Trending Us Another way to say Still Alive? Whats with all these questions? However, the time it takes for a puppy to grow up is a lot longer than it should take for someone to reply to your message. This is another funny response that you can use to say that you did a little something different this morning. I am better on the inside than I look on the outside. I'm happy! 86 Funny and Flirty Responses To 'How Are You Doing?' - Monk at 25 Hey, whered you get that nose? I'm alive, whoa! If you've ever worked in an office, used municipal buildings or lived in a city, chances are, you already know what public notices are bland, dull, usually complaining and rarely funny posters that tell us somewhat useful information about all kinds of things. See more ideas about maxine, bones funny, funny quotes. 01 "I thought we were both adults but clearly, I was wrong. 12. 2. You know when you go to meet some friends, or friends of your friends, or to a party or whatever, when you meet someone new, at some point people ask you: "SO WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?" And what I wanted to do in this thread is list the craziest answers that you can give, you know, shock people or create an extremely awkard moment. Thats because I only enjoy long, romantic walks to the fridge. 5 Opening Texts She HAS to Respond To (And Why) 1) "Hey, it's that really charming, irresistible guy from last night" 2) "How's your week looking? Here's another way to respond to your crush. Oof, gotta hide! 90 Sarcastic Quotes for Witty Comebacks Full of Sarcasm - Quote Ambition Don't Push It Too Far. 15. 4. You are shocked by his/her response, and you respond angrily "but what about me?". Cookie Notice No, they're prison pants. Ill get back to you tomorrow when the results are in. Its not my choice, but its still a choice. This one is a bit depressing, which is why you should watch when you use it. Elon Musk targets Sen. Bernie Sanders over tax tweet: 'I keep It may come across as insensitive, but that's just how our current world works. In such a case, if you are unavailable to communicate with new clients right away, you can use auto responses instead. Im in a loving, committed relationship with my bed. Could Be Payday. But, if you do say it, it will highlight the problem. They used to call them jumpolines, until your mom jumped on one. It looks like your face caught fire and someone tried to put it out with a baseball bat. If they are not going to reply, perhaps the archaeologists who discover their phone will. Hemali is an ICF-Certified ACC Level Life Coach with 3 years of experience in relationship, marriage, and grief coaching. Otherwise, how are people going to get the message that you dont want to keep answering the same questions with the same half-hearted answers? Dont get caught with nothing to say. Sometimes, it can be hard thinking on your feet, especially when youre joking around with your friends or in the midst of a heated exchange. Im telling you, the trash gets taken out more than me. How to respond to an ex asking how you are? [Read: How to be funny and make people love your company]. If youre going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty. What an impertinent question to ask a girl! 4. You're the reason God created the middle finger. 3. ", This one works well when you're still in your pajamas or are having a bad hair day. And maybe thats the reason why theyre taking so long to reply. 12. 1. From hair trends to relationship advice, our daily newsletter has everything you need to sound like a person whos on TikTok, even if you arent. (Say it like he or. Also you texted very late; I would think one of my friends were joking or drunk since it's near Halloween. On Mars, cell phone reception might not be too good. I was actually talking to my friend". But half the time, it is a nightmare. However, you can check out some of our ideas if you want to shake things up and change how you respond to how are you?. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." Was that comment meant to offend me? Id love to insult you, but you probably wouldnt understand. How do you get it to curl out of your nostrils like that? If youre still single, some people will ask you for a reason or explanation, in one way or another. Its going great, really! I thought I had the flu, but then I realized your face makes me sick to my stomach. Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. I hope you are at your best too. Alive Quotes (560 quotes) - Goodreads But, they will grow up into a dog. The person will likely pick up on the joke, making this awkward situation something that can be laughed off. 75. [Read: 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you]. 13. 2. Thats no excuse for treating someone like they dont exist, especially since 85% of participants said theyd rather be told upfront that someones not feeling it. bluntz strain indica or sativa; best mobile number tracker with google map in nepal Thats because I eat Doritos chips too loudly. Ever wondered: "What if I'm buried when I'm just in a coma?" Who knows, they might just do it. No one will expect to hear it, so you'll be catching your friends off guard. "Tony, I'm here to be for you what someone once was for me. How are you? could be much more than a basic question, but we tend to stick to the same old, half-hearted responses. Better than most, but maybe not as well as others. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. You'll love these 67+ Sarcastic Instagram Captions for couples, friends Let's grab a drink" 3) "Hey, how was that [insert something specific she mentioned when you met her]?" 4) "You can stop worrying about me I made it home safely last night" Could be better, though. While most of us answer with an uninspired I am fine, thank you, the universal greeting question how are you? Im too fine for the ugly, yet too ugly for the fine. can be tackled in some really interesting ways. It doesn't mean that you don't actually take showers. Funny and Clever Quotes About Mortality, Death, and Dying Youre worse. Siri, why am I still single? Lets just say if I was a Pokmon, my ability would be Oblivious., Listen, that feeling we call love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. I'm wondering how you are. Its a shame you cant Photoshop your personality. Brian OldWolf (author) from Troon on January 20, 2020: Shing Araya from Philippines on January 08, 2020: All are witty and funny at the same time. This one is funny when you havent said anything. This one is bound to get a laugh. 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. Are you serious? Even if life is rough, be happy that you're still alive. Youll go far someday. Some people spend all their time on their phone. Why not laugh about it and allow it to bring us closer together? 20 Perfect Responses To Send When Your Ex Texts You - Vixen Daily I havent met the right one yet. [*clap your hands*]. 76. You'll be asked how you are almost every single day, which is why you should add some humor to your answers. Are you always this dumb, or are you making a special effort today? Voltaire (philosopher), "As you get older, three things happen. What a miracle. If you're really feeling them, you can give them one last chance to make up for their communication lag. Opposites attract, right? Best 45 seconds of my life. 39 Heartfelt Poems For Your Mom On Her Birthday, Mom And Daughter Relationship: Everything You Need To Know, 150 Special Ways To Wish Your Long-Distance Girlfriend On Her Birthday, 39 Long-Distance Love Letters To Show Your Love For Him, 51 Good Morning Messages For Her In A Long-Distance Relationship, 24 Beautiful And Touching Poems For People In Long-Distance Relationships, 15 Most Important Things In A Relationship, 61 Great Long-Distance Friendship Quotes And Sayings, 9 Important Qualities Of A Healthy And Happy Relationship. Socioeconomically? What do you mean Im still single. As a result, they were so fixated on thinking about you, they forgot to reply to you. I cant afford to die; Id lose too much money. George Burns (comedian), I do not fear death. You look tired. Some good old fashioned sarcasm, there is nothing wrong with it. Well, I'm old enough to beat you in a marathon. Thats because my crush is a fictional character. Thats why Im single. There is plenty of room. Voice command: Alexa, I am your father. But, you should know that, I don't like you, already. However, I dont recall anything about morons. Through humorous musings about Scalia's . Suppose you're about to join a group when they stop by and ask if you want to join. Lets face itat my age, Im very pleased to be anywhere. George Burns (comedian), The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive. Joshua Burns, All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage. Lord Byron (poet), Im always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize that Im listening to it. George Carlin (comedian), For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. Johnny Carson (talk show host), I am prepared to meet my maker. Are you asking just to make yourself feel better? Everyone always thinks being asked how you are means your health or a general standing-but what about if it isn't? 2023 LovePanky.com Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | About Us | Write for Us | Contact Us, How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU, How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room, 20 wise medieval insults you could bring back into trend, 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you, How to be funny and make people love your company, 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use, How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever, 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor, The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company. I've come up with a compilation of funny and clever answers to the question Why are you still single?. Same thing you're doing, talking to you now. The government? 34 Best Responses To Late Replies (While Texting) I firmly believe that a romantic relationship is a huge distraction. It is a common belief that auto-responses are monotonous and boring. Why is it OK for you to be an idiot, but not OK for me to point it out? You are living proof that manure can learn to walk and talk. How Am I Still Alive #shorts #overwatch2 #overwatch - YouTube No, I'm Finnish. I know youre nobodys fool, but maybe youll be adopted someday. It lets him know that you love spending time together. However, it is best to stick to the basics with a colleague. Doing fairly well, unless you have some contagious disease and are about to infect me . 54 Exciting What If Questions - Best Ways You'll Love Fun - Mantelligence I didnt realize it at first, but I grew up and turned into a Squidward. Too early to say, it hasnt finished yet. Here's one to use when you're having a spectacular day. 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm, How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts. . Hemali Adhiya, ICF Certified Relationship Coach, Expertise: Relationships, Marriage, Couples, Grief, Life Coaching, Hemali is an ICF-Certified ACC Level Life Coach with 3 years of experience in relationship, marriage, and grief coaching. Whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. Winston Churchill (politician), At a formal dinner party, the person nearest to death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. George Carlin (comedian), Dont send me flowers when Im dead. The friendly ghost would never leave you hanging. Are You Still Alive GIFs | Tenor Because nowadays, the industry prefers singles over albums. 55+ Coronavirus Memes Funny Coronavirus Memes - Parade: Entertainment . I was doing great, before you came. Totally fine! Youre a ground-hugger. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Some Funny Responses to Everyday Questions. For some reason, some people think that not texting back is cool. Use the opportunity to make a good impression. Sort of. 35. Same thing youre doing, talking to you now. Hopefully he'll compliment you right back. Reproduction without explicit permission is prohibited. How are you? The answer is simple. 10. Im single by choice. Because you havent put a ring on it yet. Funny and Clever Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?". Maybe their roommate was sick. Save the high-quality PDF version on your device now. 3 I'm Just Wondering How You Are . Because Im awkward and ugly. They were not expecting someone so wonderful to talk to them. Have a nice life." This text is excellent because you are making him or her feel guilty about ghosting you. You were a young man when you last spoke. Listen, maybe your crush really did lose their phone. 64. You may join me, though. I'm used to it, anyway. Congratulations, sir. One common excuse that people come up with when they take a while to reply is Im bad at replying. 3. Is it your job to spread ignorance? When someone takes a long time to reply, it can feel like an empire could have risen and fallen in that time. "If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. If youre not going to say anything nice, then dont say anything at all! 45 Funny Memes About Life in 2023 - Happier Human 65. "Yeah, you're three years late. We all grow up as we get older. 52. "Can't complain" is a normal response to the question, but by throwing in the following sentence, you should get a laugh. Death is inevitablesome might even say it is a terminal inconvenience or a reason to suddenly stop sinning. I hear good things; however, you should never listen to rumors. I could never tell when someones flirting with me or if theyre just being nice. Because my milkshake doesnt bring boys to the yard. For example, when people expect you to say yes, you say no; when people wish you to say a big number, you give a tiny number. If you were twice as smart as you are now, youd be stupid. and our A A A Remember the time when you hated your ex too much that you wanted him dead? 79. (Wriggle your hips) I am as happy as a tick on a big, fat doggy. I was gonna try #6 "Any finer I'd be China." Theres only one problem with your face: I can see it. Aeldrion 5 yr. ago. funny response to are you still alive 09 June 2022. no disease, including cancer, can exist in an alkaline environment / siberian husky mask types If someone is going to ask you the same old everyday questions, I dont think Im being unreasonable when I say theyre probably just going through the motions and not really interested in your answer. And if they don't reply to this, you can walk the walk away. 2. 22. 50. 85. When you show them how you're not affected by them at all, that's when your comedic skills become the best and make others laugh as well. Arthur lived a short life, but none could doubt that it was a good one. Maybe this person really likes you, and they have a heart condition. Edgar A Shoaff (author), "Death is a very narrow theme, but it reaches a wide audience." Tell me, how can I face my problems when the problem is my face? Martin has been featured as an expert in communication and teaching on Forbes and Shopify. If someone clearly doesnt want to talk to you, the best thing to do is not talk to them. "It's a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack.". Ah, sarcasm. Before I answer, I let you know that those who know my age get bad luck. 66. 8 Funny Replies To "Hahaha" Text Better Responses Reply. 62. How much are you willing you pay me if I tell you? Oftentimes, these people just cant help but stick their noses in things they actually have no business with. 15. The data will take longer to reach Earth than it would if it was sent from someone on Earth. Like "I am not a Sunday morning inside four walls with clean blood and organized drawers. Spiritually? but that was before I read Fred's comment below. response, because I need clarity in my interactions. Don Draper? provided, of course, that he really is dead." Thinking of you not existing makes me want to masturbate. Relationship expert Susan Winter recommends gracefully leaving as the quickest and easiest way out. Tip #3 - Confidence is Key. I've Been Thinking About You Too They might not be with you right now, but they will always be on your mind. All rights reserved. "Alright. Are you still alive? Follow for more funny content!! #fyp #bask Someday, you might actually say something intelligent. My bad, its just your mouth. If you like me, send them while Im alive. Brian Clough (football team manager), I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure. Clarence Darrow (lawyer), Millions long for immortality who dont know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. Susan Ertz (author), In this world, nothing can be certain, except death and taxes. Benjamin Franklin (inventor), Life is hard. Id love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. He was a good OP, of impeccable character. You speak as if youre not single yourself! Youre supposed to think that theyre so busy being cool that they dont have time for you. This is a good response to throw out there.